Since it’s Valentine’s Day, the word romance is in the air! But do we really know what true romance is anymore? Or have we given ourselves a definition that limits romance to exaggerated and expensive gifts and trips that leads to hot and passionate sexual intimacy? Don’t get me wrong, I love to whisk my wife away on private jets to remote islands, give her obnoxiously large diamonds, and make love to her on the beach for hours and hours (heavy sarcasm intended). But with the images and expectations of our media-driven culture this is what it feels as though is expected for an everyday couple.
Is true romance only meant for those who can afford it? Or is it something simpler that, when applied regularly, can result in a reignited passion between you and your partner? Let’s check the definition of this loaded word and see if we can learn anything from the source.
Romance (def.) – a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life
At its core, romance is using our imaginations to give our partners an experience that breaks up the monotony of our everyday lives and provides some variety that is focused on showing them how much we love and care for them. So, with this definition as our guide it’s much easier to see how we can spice up our relationships in simple and meaningful ways.
So, here are 5 ways to rekindle the romance in your relationship every single day (not just on Valentine’s Day).
Write Them A Letter
There can be no underestimating the power of words. In fact, in the ancient Hebrew wisdom scriptures it says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Breathe some life into your relationship by taking the time to journal the thoughts and feelings you have for your partner to read (and read again and again). It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, but it does have to be from the heart. By the way, if you’re always writing to your lover then this wouldn’t qualify as a romantic gesture, would it? Try this next tip if you’re already prolific with the pen.
Plan An Extraordinary Evening Alone
Now I know that many of you are already going out on date night with your partner pretty regularly, so the romance part is the extraordinary elements you can add to your evening. For instance, if you always go to a restaurant with one another try cooking a meal for them at home. If your partner really enjoys the outdoors, then make a picnic for them and take them to a special location like a park you both enjoy or a place where you used to spend time with one another constantly but now haven’t seen in a while. If you plan to go out on the town, then make sure you’re adding some extraordinary to the mix by choosing a new restaurant they’ve been wanting to try or returning to a place that has significance for your relationship (like the restaurant where you had your first date). I can’t stress enough how much the “plan” part of this gesture makes this romantic. Make sure all the responsibilities of the home are taken care of (kids, pets, etc.) and you are well on our way to an impressive night! I hope I don’t need to explain the significance of the alone part…
Do The Laundry
Or the dishes, or make the kids lunches in the morning, or clean the bathroom, or just do something that is completely out of the ordinary for you. My wife really enjoys these small gestures because she feels more loved when I’m taking action to serve her. In fact, it was an enlightening day at my house when I realized (thankfully only 2 years into our marriage) that this was the case. I didn’t have to buy anything for her or make any expensive gestures in order for her to feel thought of and appreciated. I just pick up the vacuum now and again and she finds that sexy! Seriously, serve your spouse without being asked and you’ll see what I mean :-)
Start and End Each Day With A 6-Second Hug
In our fast-paced lives we have to remember to actually touch one another regularly! Otherwise we’ll just wiz right by each other on our way out the door in the morning and then sit next to each other on the couch at night before we both go to bed and do it all over again. Want to completely change your routine and awaken your desire for your partner? Give a 6-second hug every morning before you leave each other’s presence and again at night before you go to bed. Why six seconds? Six Seconds is how long it takes the dopamine to react in your brain while the hug is sending its proper message. The dopamine optimizes the flow of the chemicals oxytocin and serotonin – which boost mood and promote bonding – when we hold a hug for at least 6 seconds. So get happier with one another by hugging!
Give Them The Gift of Priceless Worth
This last tip is worth all the tips combined! The gift that each of us has to give one another in relationships that is beyond gifts and words and hugs and service is our presence. When we are engaged in our partner’s world then we are fully available to them. Honestly, you can write the letter, plan the evening, do the laundry, and give the hug but if you’re not present then none of it will make any difference. You know the feeling, right? When your partner says, “I love you,” while their eyes are looking over your shoulder at something else? When your spouse gives you a hug with their arms but the rest of the their body is already moving on the next task? When your significant other says they’re interested in what you have to say but they keep asking you to repeat your last sentence? We all do these kinds of things from time to time, but perhaps the most romantic thing you can do for your relationship is to make the commitment to yourself to always be present. When you’re engaged in your relationship in this way, then romance comes easy and never has to wait for Valentine’s Day.
Question: What are some tips on successful romance that you’ve tried in your relationship that we can all learn from? You can leave a comment by clicking here.