Finally Feeling Worthy At 40

Getting Rid Of The Virus That Infected My Soul

I’ve been on a hiatus from publishing on my blog for over a year now and a LOT has happened since. So much, in fact, that I’m not completely sure where to start telling the story. So I’ll start with the biggest and most profound change I experienced…I turned 40.

40, right?! When I was young this seemed so old. Now that I’m here, it doesn’t feel old at all. In fact, I only just now feel like I’m hitting my stride. Of course, I’m also just now starting to wake up with sore muscles and weird injuries that seemingly occurred in my sleep (why didn’t anyone tell me about this?) as well as a few gray hairs that my kids (who, by the way, are now old enough to talk back, make logical arguments, and cuss in context) are all too happy to point out to me. 40 feels like it snuck up on me.

3 Things Taylor Swift Taught Me About Femininity

How powerfully feminine energy stands out in a masculine world


Taylor’s face is projected on the arena screen for all to see.

I had the good fortune to score tickets months ago for me and my daughter Emily to enjoy an evening with Taylor Swift during her 1989 World Tour in St. Louis on September 30th. My daughter was so excited that she could barely contain herself. And I, of course, enjoyed seeing her smiling face as we parked the car in front of the arena and got ready to share this wonderful experience with 15,000 friends.

I know Taylor’s music from the radio and the albums that my daughter owns, so I felt prepared for a fun night of sing-a-longs. What I wasn’t prepared for, though, but was pleasantly surprised to discover was just how much I was going to learn about the power of femininity that evening.

In a very masculine world that applauds bigger, better, faster, and stronger; competition as the way of life; and being focused on the task to the exclusion of the people around it, there are many things we can learn from the power of femininity when it’s allowed to come forth and lead. So, take a trip with me into the world of femininity and discover the power that its energy creates.

Welcome To The World Of Possibilities

What holding a newborn reminded me about my life and yours

Jeremy-with-TheoThis past Sunday I had the pleasure of meeting my friends’ newborn son. I was reminded of the joy I felt when I held my own children for the first time…the endless possibilities of what this life holds for them. Today, I just wanted to remind you that you were also this size once. You brought lots of joy to the people around you when you arrived on the planet and you were full of possibilities — and you still are.

Our decisions are what turn possibilities into realities. So, maybe you’ve made some decisions that didn’t give you the results you desired. Maybe you want to take some of them back. Or maybe you’re holding back from making the decisions you know will bring you joy and open up the door again to endless possibilities. I don’t know exactly where you find yourself today, but I know this — you were born for a purpose. You are here for a reason. And when you look at this one-day-old baby I want you to remember the joy you can decide to bring and the possibilities for you to fulfill the endless potential that you have available within you every single day.

While watching my son, Jonathan, take his belt test for Tae Kwon Do this past weekend I got to see him learn a lesson that so many of us need to be reminded of as we start our week.

(Watch the video for the full lesson)

Persist Until You Succeed!

Never give up on your dreams.

Question: How many times did Jonathan have to kick that second board until he broke through? Do you think your dream deserves at least as many tries? Declare your dedication to persisting until you succeed as you build the life of your dreams! You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Has Shame Got You Stuck?

3 Strategies To Help You Win The Battle For Your Identity

Have you ever felt stuck? You’ve got lots of ideas and many directions you could be taking, but you just feel immobilized. It’s almost like you begin something new, criticize it, and abandon the idea in your mind because you know it will fail all before you’ve even taken any action. If you’ve ever had this experience then shame might be keeping you stuck.

Shame? Can it be? Is it really that hard to believe? Any human being with the capacity for compassion and empathy can experience shame. So, save sociopaths, we’re all at risk of feeling the sting of shame at some point in our lives.

Shame is aimed at our self-worth. It introduces itself as the threat that we aren’t lovable and convinces us that we are unworthy of connection and belonging. When it’s present, our thoughts center on what’s missing instead of what’s there. We become scarcity-minded, are constantly comparing ourselves with others, and are generally disengaged.

Sure, we struggle to keep performing, proving, pleasing, and perfecting for others so that we can fit in, but we never really feel like we belong. We wear a mask to hide our imperfections and stay silent about what really bothers us because we’ve been told that our voice doesn’t matter. When something pokes our sore spot, we get defensive and others wonder what’s wrong with us.

According to Brene Brown’s research on vulnerability, shame, and living wholeheartedly, around 80% of adults live in a struggle for worthiness, and 41% of adults can recall a stifling emotional experience where their creativity was criticized. The resulting shame altered the way they felt about themselves and became a part of their identity.

So, shame is a battle for your identity. In the human psyche there’s nothing more powerful than what you believe to be true about yourself. It affects every single action you take, every single day. We will seek to act in alignment with who we think we are because we have a deep need to feel congruent with those beliefs about ourselves. I refer to identity as “the force that shapes our destiny” because our destination is determined by our decisions, and our decisions are determined by our identity.

So, how do we get out of the shame cycle? Here are 3 strategies that will help you out.