The Secret To Having An Exemplary Relationship

Getting down on one knee might be the most universal sign of relationship commitment that exists in our American culture. “Will you marry me?” is the question that is being asked with this most decidedly uniform way of displaying our interest in sharing our lives together, forever. But what does it mean to be engaged to be married? Is it an event that passes us by or is it a process that continues long after the event has passed?

Elderly Couple in a park

Not long ago, I was given the distinct privilege of officiating the wedding of my good friends. It was a beautiful affair, on an unusually warm November afternoon, in a lovely chapel with high archways and ornate wooden doors. All in attendance were so happy to see this lovely couple united in marriage and equally thrilled to witness the event.

The bride wore a lovely ivory gown and was walked slowly down the aisle by her loving father. As she approached the altar I could see the groom tearing up, overwhelmed with the emotion of the moment. The bride’s mother and father kissed her on the cheek and handed her to the groom so that they could solidify their commitment to one another, and he ushered her up to the altar where I began to speak.

Weddings are funny things. We put so much emphasis on these events that there are whole industries built around them. Dresses, decor, photography, videography, music, flowers, food, and location rentals just to name a few. But in the end, weddings are just elaborate parties. Lots of family and friends are invited to celebrate the day that the happy couple decides to proclaim to the world that they are ready to begin the rest of their lives together. The problem is, most couples never think past the wedding and run head-long into enormous trouble after the event has passed. Luckily, my friends were fortunate (or not, depending on who you ask) to have me as their pre-marital coach to prepare them for the journey of marriage, not the event of the wedding.

I chose to address those present at their wedding with a metaphor of what marriage truly is. Here’s a little of what I said: “Marriage is the process of becoming one. Marriage is not merely two people coming together to form a partnership, nor is it an agreement to become permanent roommates. No, marriage is two people serving and sacrificing for one another, completing one another, and continually becoming one.”

I continued, “Marriage is like a precious gem. Marriage develops over time – diamonds don’t form in ten years; they require millennia. It takes only a few minutes to get married, but building a marriage requires a lifetime. A diamond is the final result of a long and intensive process – and so is marriage. Over time and under the intense heat and pressure of life, two people under the covenant of marriage come together and are lost in each other to the point where it becomes impossible to tell where one person ends and the other begins.” I concluded, “A great marriage is no accident. It is the product of intentional actions, shared experiences, and lots of time as two people are in the process of becoming one.”

At the start, every marriage has the opportunity to be an example for others to follow or a warning for others to avoid. What those great marriages teach us is that the secret to having an exemplary relationship is simple – be engaged. 

5 Ways To Rekindle The Romance In Your Relationship

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, the word romance is in the air! But do we really know what true romance is anymore? Or have we given ourselves a definition that limits romance to exaggerated and expensive gifts and trips that leads to hot and passionate sexual intimacy? Don’t get me wrong, I love to whisk my wife away on private jets to remote islands, give her obnoxiously large diamonds, and make love to her on the beach for hours and hours (heavy sarcasm intended). But with the images and expectations of our media-driven culture this is what it feels as though is expected for an everyday couple.

Rekindle Romance

Is true romance only meant for those who can afford it? Or is it something simpler that, when applied regularly, can result in a reignited passion between you and your partner? Let’s check the definition of this loaded word and see if we can learn anything from the source.

Romance (def.) – a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life

At its core, romance is using our imaginations to give our partners an experience that breaks up the monotony of our everyday lives and provides some variety that is focused on showing them how much we love and care for them. So, with this definition as our guide it’s much easier to see how we can spice up our relationships in simple and meaningful ways.

So, here are 5 ways to rekindle the romance in your relationship every single day (not just on Valentine’s Day). 

Why Most Relationships Never Last (and How To Ensure Yours Does)

How to make your relationship last in a world where they seem to be so expendable

Since the dawn of time mankind has never been satisfied with just being a “me,” he’s always wanted to be part of a “we.” That’s the power of relationships in our lives. They give us the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than just ourselves.

Couple On The Beach

You’d think with all the human advancements in psychology over the past 200 years we’d all be having great relationships by now and enjoying our spouses and significant others at high levels every single day. But that’s not the case, is it? In fact, the divorce rate suggests that relationships are becoming more and more disposable in our world, not less. Why do you think this is?

I think these statistics are telling us something that we can no longer refuse to ignore. Because it’s so easy to leave a marriage with our relaxed legal standards, the bar has been raised on relationships and people are no longer willing to settle for less when we know there must be more.

So how do we make our relationships last in a world where they seem to be so expendable? By going straight to the heart of why most relationships never last – love. 

One Secret To Massively Increase Your Influence Today

Influence. It is something we all desire but few of us master. Something we all want but few of us grasps. To have more of it means that we are able to peacefully persuade others to take action. To have less of it means that we are constantly battling with others to get them to see what we see and often losing.

Increase Your Influence Article

So what if I were to tell you that there’s only one thing you must do to massively increase your influence today? And what if that one thing was so simple that you could change it without any real mind-blowing effort on your part?

Sound interesting? Then read on to discover how to massively increase your influence in every relationship today! 

Getting Beyond The Blame Game

Blame is the oldest game that people play. If there is one thing that seems to keep us stuck in our stories and hold us back from achieving our dreams it has to be blame.

Beyond The Blame Game Article

Every time we play the blame game, we are focusing on what we cannot control instead of tapping into our personal power. In the end, if we want to grow into our greatness we absolutely must get beyond blame.

Helping people accomplish their goals as a coach has afforded me the opportunity to see this blame game play out in many different ways. Of course, it has also given me the ability to see the major patterns of how people play it.

So, here are the 3 most identifiable patterns of blame that I’ve seen in people’s lives (and, of course, my own) and how to get beyond them.